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December 19, 2013

5 Most Common Questions at a Holiday Party and How to Deal With Them

Raindrops on roses, whiskers on kittens, bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens. These might be some of your favorite things this holiday season. It’s the most wonderful time of the year to be with the ones you love.

But you know what is NOT on my favorite list?

When the ones you love force you to go to holiday parties. Ugh.

Here are 5 situations/questions that you might come up against as a high school student during a holiday party and ways to deal with them.

1. So, what colleges have you applied to?

The trick here is to never get specific. Try not to name a university if you can help it. Naming one will only lengthen the conversation. Keep it vague. Maybe just mention one of the two coasts. It doesn’t matter; just pick one; West or East. If they push for you to say a name, simply ask what they are drinking and if they need a refill. This gives you an excuse to leave and they think you are so polite for doing something nice.

2. So, are you going to be a (insert parents’ college here) graduate too?

You need to practice your holiday party laugh weeks ahead of time. This would be a great time to do it. Respond with a hearty laugh and then ask them if they need a drink refill.

3. So, what did you write your essay about?

Think of a fake essay topic weeks in advance. It should be 1-3 sentences long. Do not go above that number. Make it sound smart, but also confusing enough that they wouldn’t want to know more. Use big words. Then end it with your hearty laugh and ask them if they need a drink refill.

4. Did you know that so-and-so got into “xyz” university early action?

I know what you want to say. It probably involves getting in trouble and not being able to go to that New Year’s Eve party you’ve been looking forward to all year. Instead, just bite your tongue. Literally, put some food in your mouth, and purposefully bite your tongue. Make a big scene out of it and excuse yourself.

5. So, are you looking forward to finally leaving home?

Never just say yes. The trick here is to convey your sadness about leaving home while simultaneously showing them how emotionally mature and prepared you are for the next chapter in your life. Formulate your best sad face weeks in advance. For best results, produce a single tear. When the time comes, give them your best Oscar-worthy performance yet. Walk away and depending on your performance, you might actually make them feel guilty for even asking.

So as you can see, just like in school, preparation is key. If you come in prepared, then you may find yourself actually enjoying these holiday parties. Good luck and have a great season of holiday parties!

1 Comment

  1. Kausthubha Yaratha says:

    It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a high school student almost in possession of a diploma, must be thoroughly questioned about her college plans.

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